By Carol Wilson
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Extra resources for Best Practice in Performance Coaching: A Handbook for Leaders, Coaches, HR Professionals and Organizations
During the training he realized that he had never really listened to another person in his life before. Listening at the lower levels in everyday life is not necessarily a bad thing, but on the whole it is not coaching. Coaches listen at Levels Four and Five, ideally throughout every session. It sounds like hard work, but is in fact quite stimulating and energizing, rather like being in a game of chess where you are enthralled by calculating the next move. 22 FUNDAMENTALS QUESTIONING Another activity at which coaches spend a large proportion of their time is asking questions, but not the type of questions we ask in everyday life.
These two statements, asked consecutively, encourage people to be kind to themselves. Looking at the positive first will build their confidence as they recognize their strengths. This in turn will help them to be honest about what they need to work on: What did you like about what you did? If you could do it again, what would you do differently? Appropriate Negative feedback is best given in private to the person concerned. There are times and places for giving positive feedback. These are the parameters: ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ as often as you can; only when it is deserved; immediately; in public if the recipient is not too shy; direct to the recipient; to the recipient’s boss.
Coachee: Yes please. Coach: Are you able to give yourself permission to want to make money? COACHING TECHNIQUES 27 I actually held this conversation a number of years ago, and when I asked the last question, the coachee began to cry with relief as he agreed that what he wanted more than anything was to make money, but he had never allowed himself to admit that before. There was some uncomfortable feeling attached to commercial thinking which, he then realized, arose from his relationship with his father.